Five of Cups

The most traditional meanings – difficult relationships or unexpected troubles and obstacles in affairs, but mainly – sorrow for what is lost. The Five of Cups is a card of sadness, pain, melancholy.

It can show that we have lost something that was important to us for a long time or that something important never happened.

This card is associated with strong emotions (and this distinguishes it from the apathetic Four of Cups); it can be righteous anger or love suffering, but most often – heartache that cannot be overcome before its time, an emotional crisis, depression. Something that once brought joy and delighted the soul is left behind, and this pain must be comprehended and endured.

This is not a cosmetic correction of ideas; it is a radical disappointment in which the person themselves sees nothing positive. Emptiness can clear space for new filling, but being in the space of the Five of Cups, the person cannot yet see what will reward them for this. This card implicitly contains the potential for new opportunities or a new perspective on things, which the person is not yet able to turn towards.

This card points to a somewhat false point of view, and often does not reflect real events but rather represents a projection of fears and doubts regarding the question for which the spread was made. However, if it appears – these fears, doubts, and pains are quite strong, and they will have to be reckoned with. The trap of this Arcana – getting stuck in sorrow. Those who look only backward will not notice love, even if it is right nearby. This is such a deep immersion in thoughts about one's loss that a person stops paying attention to other goals and opportunities – after all, we live in a dual world where for every negative event there is a positive one, and almost every loss can be viewed as a gain. If we have missed some opportunities and lost what was dear to us, we still have to turn the page and continue moving forward. No, life is not over, says this card; let the grief be great and the losses significant, but there will be joys and acquisitions ahead.

With the Five of Cups, we lose something, experiencing sorrow and regret. This can be some quite real thing like a mobile phone – in this case, the two cups behind the back say that you will inevitably acquire a new one, maybe better than the old one, because emptiness essentially frees up space for the new. But still, its most typical appearance is associated with a situation where we lose something immaterial – a dream, an illusion, a feeling... Some expectations were not met, hopes collapsed, and the person under this card is truly disappointed. What they counted on really should have belonged only to them (or so it seems), but... it didn't work out. There is a capacious Russian word – 'obłom' (a letdown, a fiasco).

The Five of Cups is an internal 'obłom.' Although the main feature of this 'obłom' – not all is lost (new opportunities are symbolized by the two cups behind the character's back). Many authors point out that this card rarely appears if a person is not in a state of deep grief, but in practice, things are not always so serious. Quite often, the Five of Cups indicates a desire to 'turn away' in one's dissatisfaction from the imperfection of the situation. But in fairness, it should be noted that the loss of a loved one also passes under this card.

The Five of Cups often accentuates the desire to redo the past and regret over missed opportunities, internal discord, emotional resistance to changes, and finally, humble acceptance of what is happening and the inevitable shift in priorities. By the way, the best thing about this card – it always says that the person is not alone; there are people around who love them, capable of at least brightening their life, providing support on this difficult stage of the path. These are kind and reliable friends, whose warm participation will help overcome the crisis period and gain confidence in the future.

As a card of the future, it speaks of recognizing mistakes, a time of sorrow, and eventually returning to the flow of life. The card can speak of minor failures, transient sadness. Under the Five of Cups, one can get a scolding, after which they will have to 'wipe their nose,' like the character depicted on the card.

Traditional meaning of the card – inheritance, a gift from ancestors (in the past, funeral mourning was often softened by receiving profits, symbolized by the two cups behind the back, 'happiness in misfortune'). Another traditional meaning – an upcoming union, possibly marriage or partnership, but in it, one will still have to 'learn happiness,' because it is not what the querent wanted and expected.

Sorrow and low spirits. 'Feel like crying' (sometimes without quotes). This can be both a prolonged bad mood, regret over missed opportunities, resistance to changes, and simply internal discord. Under this card pass soul sufferings associated with a passionate desire for the impossible and intoxicated self-pity. A sorrowful-disappointed state in which a person sees no good, only bad. Moreover, usually they can easily name the cause of their pain, say why they are suffering and why they feel bad – unlike the Four of Cups (when everything seems fine, but they 'mope' and 'don't know what they want'). Here they have experienced bitter disappointment, have been abandoned, hopes have collapsed, something important has failed.

Emptiness, weakness, and despondency, everything literally falls from their hands, complete immersion in negative emotions, and it seems there is no one to trust (but this last is precisely incorrect). A feeling that the purpose of existence is lost. But in fact, with the Five of Cups, we mourn the past, standing with our backs to those life sources that nourish our present. Under this card, painful memories often weigh on a person.

The danger is that under the Five of Cups, very deep and very negative subconscious strivings (up to suicidal thoughts) can develop in a person's psyche, the awareness of which causes suffering and turmoil of feelings. Under this card pass self-rejection, even hatred directed at oneself, unwillingness to work on oneself, inability to learn from one's own mistakes, inability to navigate one's own feelings, emotional dependence on other people. In rare cases – complete despair, actions in a state of affect.

This is a card of sadness, but here we are no longer talking about sluggish despondency but about excruciating pain. This card, by the way, rarely appears if some harm has not been done to the person, and they are not in a state of grief. It is regret, disappointment, mourning, a moment of pain that cannot be overcome before its time.

As a card of personal growth, it symbolizes the need for freedom and changes. As a rule, the person has outgrown the current situation and therefore must move forward, even if it means parting with close people or everything to which they feel emotional attachment. The querent most likely knows well what they have lost and why.

The card also has a Saturnian-Uranian flavor – there is a kind of purification of emotion, a test of its truth. These emotional efforts are not in vain and lead, first of all, to a renewal of life. Like any Five, the Five of Cups symbolizes an attempt to go beyond the rigid quaternary form. The instability that arose in the Five knocks consciousness out of the stability of the four. A person in such a state feels cut off from the source of life. What once bloomed and smelled turned to dust and ashes. They no longer feel contact with the feminine, receptive side of existence. Deep inner feelings have dried up; we suffer from loneliness and passionately strive for what we think is lost forever.

This state can capture us to such an extent that we become unable to discern the new opportunities that still fill our lives. Within the suit of Cups, the exit occurs through connection to a large current, a great tradition. Venus (the primary planet of Cups) hinders direct confrontation. Therefore, the card can point to strengthening ties with tradition, with the past, realized through some spiritual inheritance, the acquisition of forgotten knowledge.

On a mundane level, this can point to a gift or inheritance in the most literal and direct sense. Higher – at the level of the card, Leo already resonates.

Abandoned and insulted, a person stands in a black mourning cloak and looks intently and sadly at three spilled cups, symbolizing their shattered hopes – it seems they have lost hope or joy. Generally, it is accepted that the overturned cups testify to lost love. The black cloak symbolizes melancholy, bitterness, and sorrow (in such a cloak, a person may even enter a monastery, disillusioned with the world). They do not know that behind them stand two filled cups, symbolizing new opportunities or a new perspective on things (or both). They regret the feelings they lived by before and in which they became disillusioned, having learned the truth they sought to know. Something has flowed out, drained away, and the sky has darkened. What once filled them has now dried up.

The lesson of this card – to come to one's senses, notice the two cups behind, and bring them across the bridge to one's home, to the visible fortress, to start anew. The river on the card symbolizes the flow of time and our life. The bridge symbolizes two banks – two periods of life (this can be associated with the sacred duty of the Priest – to be a pontiff, a creator of a bridge between the material and spiritual worlds).

The sign Scorpio symbolizes the development of feelings in depth. The first decan of Scorpio expresses the idea of passionate and demanding analysis of life and the search for its essence. This decan is ruled by the planet of hidden potential, passion, and suffering Pluto (according to the old system, Mars). This decan is characterized by emotional dissatisfaction, inner uncompromisingness, and a desire to remake the world. It is self-sacrifice, reflection on death, and the necessity to renew life again. Destruction does its work, but without it, it's impossible – it sweeps away imperfect structures so that something better can arise in their place.

From a magical point of view, this is a card of mediumship, communication with the dead. It is the archetypal journey to the underworld, where the traveler is stripped of all worldly coverings and attachments to gain true values.

Light and shadow (advice and warning)

Advice: Be satisfied with a partial solution, not an ideal state of affairs. Accept grief, gradually overcome the pain, and turn to the positive side of the situation. 'Little hut, little hut, turn your front to me, your back to the forest.' The card says that most likely we have lost what we did not strive to hold onto too tightly, or that in any case, the lost thing will soon be replaced by another, less meeting expectations, but in fact – no less beautiful and more corresponding to real needs. The Five of Cups says that it is within our power to see the good. The cause of disappointment largely lies only within ourselves. It is enough to turn to face the present, leaving the past behind, and former tirelessness, steadfastness, and mobilization will return. Everything will work out in time. As we know, experience is what we get when we don't get what we wanted. And for now, we must gather strength and not break. This not-so-cheerful time should be used for one's own development. In time, new plans and goals will come. Perhaps this whole situation arose PRECISELY so that we would pay attention to the MAIN THING! To what is symbolized by the two cups behind the back. Warning: Do not try to do what you will later regret. Do not immerse yourself too deeply in black thoughts – you might miss something important. Inability to express feelings, withdrawal, embittered and depressive mood will hinder further development of affairs and relationships. This is a friendly warning: stop self-flagellation. You are doing the best you can with what you have at the moment. Leave the past and love the future. There's no point in giving up and clinging to your suffering. Don't drown in self-pity; it is like the sea – the further you go, the deeper you sink.

Often the card indicates that at the moment, the person is up to their ears immersed in heavy experiences that do not quite correspond to the real state of affairs. Nothing particularly tragic has happened, except for a terrible tangle in their own desires and fears. Getting a grip seems impossible, but in fact, the querent is capable of managing their own life; just time must pass before they understand this. Sometimes this card appears immediately after a serious quarrel or divorce, when feelings are still raw, and an attempt to start something anew seems unthinkable.

The Five of Cups describes that not uncommon situation when expectations were too great, and some unexpected event, for example, a soulless reaction, sharply destroyed them. Probably, all this had been accumulating and was beneath the surface, but the person so did not want to acknowledge it that they didn't notice. And now there has come such a sobering that is comparable to a slap in the face and not something you'd wish on an enemy. In an emotional sense, this card points to the initial stage of trauma and realization, when feelings are raw, and an attempt to start something new seems unthinkable.

Unlike the Four of Cups, this is a card of strong emotions, uncompromisingness. The Five of Cups is youthfully maximalistic, sometimes too much. Sometimes this card means disappointment precisely as liberation from delusions. Emotionally, it tends towards 'gothic,' i.e., cutting off everything superfluous, feelings at the level of 'all or nothing.' Here, the very great influence of Saturn is felt, which brings something of the intransigence and uncompromisingness of Capricorn into the card's action. Essentially, this is another 'broken heart' card, along with the Three of Swords.

The Five of Cups is an informative card for the theme of relationships. It is realized through Saturn, bringing with it quarrels, losses, partings, disappointment, sorrows, a sense of imperfection, despair, sorrow for what is lost. It is here that all the shortcomings in building a relationship, all the understatements, contradictions, misunderstandings, and unrealistic expectations can 'surface.' Moreover, the disappointment of the Five of Cups is usually not an external event but a purely internal, intimate, so to speak, affair. Here, it's not that the partner did something that disappointed and hurt the person (although this is possible, especially if the Three of Swords or Five of Swords are nearby), but that the person is 'their own fool,' and finally, they have felt it. Sometimes they even manage to hide it from the partner, but usually the distress is discovered.

This sad 'own fool' is expressed either in the fact that the pursued goals were incompatible with genuine needs (the partner is unsuitable or cohabitation is not indicated at all), or in the fact that the person is in a relationship that somehow contradicts their moral principles (e.g., reconciled with cohabitation outside marriage, although deep down it makes them feel murky, or entered into a marriage under some conditions they initially disapproved of but suppressed that feeling). One way or another, failures, sorrows, and losses occur because the person, in passing, raped themselves, stepped on their own throat, and now wonders why their throat is constricted.

Yes, this is disappointment. 'The game wasn't worth the candle.' 'Sold short.' And now it's painfully hurtful, and the melancholy seems deadly. There's no point in indulging in self-flagellation and self-pity – this is precisely the case when everything is clear even without a psychotherapist, and these sessions will not bring any fundamentally new additional knowledge. Here, a temporary separation might rather play a therapeutic role, helping to see the situation more clearly and do something to correct it.

Sometimes this 'correction' looks like breaking off an unsuccessful connection and starting new relationships, but it happens that it is some purely internal affair, during which the person learns to appreciate what they have and see its pluses (the pair of cups behind the sad character's back says that these pluses are genuine and truly exist, and we engage in self-deception rather when we indulge in despondency). Sometimes a temporary separation helps to see the situation more clearly. But often under this card, the continuation of relationships in a partnership is observed despite their destructive impact; self-sacrifice for loved ones occurs. The card serves as a powerful indicator of a vulnerable union or partnership.

This can be an unstable friendship, a 'failed' marriage without real love, a union whose meaning the person does not understand or accept, a dangerous connection, widowhood, or, in the highest sense, an unusual or mystical marriage. The Five of Cups can also point to a time of mourning, when a person is just getting used to a heavy loss, and to a state immediately after a breakup or divorce, when it is extremely important to acknowledge their pain.

Situations and states under the Five of Cups can vary from an unpleasant phone call leaving a transient aftertaste in the soul to mourning one's entire fate, and this is serious, genuine, deep sorrow, in which thoughts of suicide creep in. In relatively mild cases, the person simply pours out fear for the fragile union, uncertainty about the future, and often the partner still helps restore confidence in tomorrow – hence the two cups behind the back. Warm attitude and emotional support are fully present.

The mind is now concentrated on the problematic aspects, flaws, and imperfections of this union, but this is temporary. And sometimes it is experienced much worse; the person feels defenselessness, shame, and grief; harm has been done to them, although we are generally talking about love. Often this is a socially unusual and therefore vulnerable union, but it can also be simply not too successful, in accordance with the canonical meaning of the card.

Sometimes under the Five of Cups, a person painfully realizes that they acted contrary to their beliefs, upbringing, everything they considered right; for them, this is a very painful life experience, sadness, and disappointment – first and foremost in themselves. If a month ago someone had said that something like this would happen and things would go this far, they wouldn't have believed it. What happened is an unexpected loss (again – of themselves) and it saddens them immeasurably. Pain and anguish gnaw at them openly; it's clear that the wound in their soul will not heal quickly. To some extent, they mourn their entire former life, realizing that all that is far behind and will never return. Sorrow for what is lost, pain, despair, and confrontation with a complex emotional trial – that's what this card means.

This is a feeling of abandonment, resentment, inner torment (even if the 'offender' hugs and whispers words of love – in other, less favorable cases, abandonment and deception may be added to this). This is a genuine emotional crisis, agony of feelings, deepest heartache, pain because something is gone forever... but that's just it, that behind the back are two cups. They say that they are not alone, that there is a loving person nearby, that they must try to get rid of sadness as soon as possible – yes, this pain must be experienced and comprehended to lead to further spiritual growth.

For some people, this card literally describes the MYSTERY OF LIFE, once again confirming that there are no Minor Arcana. As a rule, it is a series of unsuccessful marriages. The person cannot come to their senses for a very long time after the first breakup and refuses to turn to face someone who, in the meantime, would give everything for their love. When this union finally takes place, the state of the Five of Cups is formed again; the partner still seems somehow not the right one, and the union – a sad mistake. The Great Mystery of this Arcana is that TWO CUPS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THOSE THREE from the point of view of Fate.

It stubbornly overturns the three to turn the person towards those two, from a not quite genuine union to the truly destined one. Like the Four of Cups, this card largely serves as a warning that the person is currently in the wrong mood, they are choosing the worst and discarding everything positive; essentially, they are harming themselves, trying to spite another. Happiness and fulfillment of desires have long been waiting for them. Still waiting. Essentially, they are trying to run away instead of working on the situation.

In principle, this card teaches that it is up to us whether we see the glass half empty or half full (given that it is half in any case, partiality). If a person manages to see the good side in what they have, they can be happy in their own way. Sometimes the Five of Cups foretells changes in surroundings as a result of a desire to avoid these questions.

Sometimes the card speaks of a marriage not with the one desired, but which is much better than the one desired, and of the task to see what gold you have received, not to mourn the unfulfilled. Yes, it's not what you expected. You mourn what you didn't get, and there is a reason. But you HAVE RECEIVED! What you do not yet know how to appreciate.

Sometimes the Five of Cups reacts simply to a storm in the ocean of the subconscious, when one of the partners feels like crying, feels vulnerable themselves and the relationship, but in reality, everything is fine, everything is in order, it only seems to them, and the other is ready to reassure them. One of the profound meanings of the card – a will, gift, inheritance. May relate to the karma of love, gifts from a partner who is not nearby, a mystical marriage with them, which does not correspond to the usual idea of happiness but may well embody harmony.

Especially for young people, the card can describe mourning for relationships that are not working out at the moment, watched by some society (symbolized by the Three of Cups) – school, friends, a crowd watching the development of a 'Mexican soap opera.' But they WILL WORK OUT, that's the point, just in a different format, detached from the crowd, and these will be the true Two Cups, simple, correct, and harmonious love, without an audience and prying eyes. Sometimes these are relationships that cannot develop precisely because of the close attention of others (if nearby there is also the Five of Pentacles, there are reasons for that, e.g., people are not free or of the same sex), but if it weren't for this fact – everything would be quite harmonious. May indicate a desire to close off from the external world, fear of emotional exposure.

Perhaps the best thing one can do in a Five of Cups situation – honestly see the essence of the torment, learn to forgive, and with full confidence in oneself, decide on something new if the old cannot be brought back. Smile through tears and trust, overcoming the fear of a new life.

The Five of Cups covers genealogies and family stories with heroes of the clan and 'black sheep.'